“No Business Like Show Business”

pic-blogToday, like every day, I awoke around 4:30 which seemed like 10:30am – because all the lights in the room were on. My roommate IS AN INSOMNIAC and likes to read all night then promptly at 5:49am he shuts off the light. When breakfast arrives at 6:30 he is snoring like a chain saw clear cutting the Amazonian rain forest.

Meanwhile, while I was trying to go back to sleep at 4:54 AM (with my ear plugs in) – across the hall, Pavarotti’s parents’ – illegitimate tone deaf half-sister – begins her rehearsal for her upcoming musical. After 30 mins of warm up, she mellowed out. Just when I think it’s good, her bed alarm starts going off (which means she is getting out of bed and shouldn’t be.) At this point, I’m afraid she is going to start belting out, ‘there’s NO Business like Show Business”! Thank God, the nurses gave her some shot that would knock out an elephant.

After all the shenanigans – it was 6:00 am and time for shift change. When shift change occurs – it means nurses, vitals and time for pills!! So much for getting any sleep, as breakfast arrives at 6:45AM.

Now that I am up, it’s 10:00AM – it’s time for my physical therapy. Yesterday, I went to see my surgeon, who issued new orders for my Rehab. These included – a protocol of sitting up for longer periods of time every day  and different booties on my feet – as I NOW have blisters on my heels!! As, I am going through the motions – the PT guy leaves, I realize the new orders were never followed. I called Anneliese, who went ballistic!! She proceeded to call the Ombudsmen, the Social Worker and spoke to the head person for Kaiser who handles their Skilled Nursing Facilities. I have to say, I feel sorry for the nurse that had to deal with my unhappy wife – boy, is she pissed. As she would say, I would be fired if I made the mistakes on my job that they do here. On my end, I told the nurse that I haven’t had Physical Therapy for 3 days – until today and I am pissed!! My release from the Bitch Carlton is dependent upon how I do on this sitting protocol.

Well,  that was my Wednesday morning, I might need to take a sip of the Tequila that was smuggled in here for me!
Oh hell, maybe the bottle at this point!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

3 thoughts on ““No Business Like Show Business”

  1. Let me know if you need anything I would be glad to smuggle in a few cocktails for you. Lots of love and Happy Thanksgiving to you and Anni

  2. What the hell kind of unit do they have you on?! A dementia unit?? Goodness! Wish I could come and raise some hell for you…I am a manager at a SNF and this is unacceptable…reading about your arrival day was unacceptable too! I should fly you out to Wisconsin and take care of you at my SNF! Argh!!! Happy Thanksgiving my dear friend, thinking of you!

  3. Dave, Dave, Dave. Your are a helluva story teller. I swear to god you and Anneliese would be in a rubber room by now, if you had lost your sense of humor. I needed a good laugh today.

    Abby is getting married on Saturday morning, and she is sick with a flu. So is my son Nick who is a groomsman. And then there’s the rain that’s coming… only on Saturday, only during the time of the outdoor reception. And did I mention many of the fiancés extended family members voted for the orange-haired, overgrown oompaloompah? It makes sense, because, they are Mormon. Oh wait, did I not mention that Abby is now !Mormon? and, that for most of the wedding-planning period, it looked like the only ceremony I would be allowed to attend [Google: Mormon secret sealing-ceremony] was a Hindi ceremony… overseen by her (Indian) stepMom for whom I have no respect because she and ‘Dear old Dad’ payed not one single cent for Abby’s college education/ living expenses. Okay, I hope that made you laugh, or at least think WTF? It’s all true, teacher’s honor.

    Life is stranger than fiction, but we all have to deal with our particular brand of shi!! I do think what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I often ask myself why God/the Universe put you in the position He/It did. It would have been easier for you to die, but You Are Still Needed, Here on earth. All the pain and anguish- I cannot begin to fathom how you face each preposterous new obstacle… But you are one Bad Hombre. Such a genuinely kind and morally strong man, beloved by his family. Keep on, keepin’ on. Btw, Anneliese wouldn’t kick ass the way she does if you weren’t totally worth it Happy Thanksgiving, may it be the only one you ‘celebrate’ at the mercy of the Bi!ch Carlton. You and yours are always in my prayers.
    Love you.
    Anna

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