“Bitch Carlton”

The other night when the Shepherds came to visit, Jenny and I were joking around about my accommodations here. She said it’s definitely not the Ritz Carlton – then I chimmed in and said, it’s more like the Bitch Carlton. We had a good laugh – that is why I titled this post “Bitch Carlton”.

Overall, I have gotten used to the system here. Every day, I must re-train all the CNA nurses – what they can and cannot do with regards to moving me, wound care etc. Thank goodness I have had so many friends show up with food! It saves me from “prison slop” they serve here at the Bitch Carlton. Every week when I fill out my meal selection it goes like this….. breakfast: scrambled eggs, cranberry juice and salt and pepper, Lunch: I write in… peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Dinner: I write in… turkey sandwich. If anyone wants to lose weight – don’t listen to Oprah and spend money on Weight Watchers- come stay at the Bitch Carlton!

Yesterday, my luck ran out and I got a roommate. He is very nice retired man that lives in Orinda. He had a mild stroke, only his left arm is week. I’m thinking if you’re going to have a stroke that is the one that I want to have. He is really nice so, I totally lucked out!

Yesterday about 5’oclock Jenny shepherd…. AKA “TATE” stopped by with her daughter, Sarah, to drop off a sleeping mask that incorporates ear plugs. I would find out later what a blessing this was. TATE swears by these things, I would unknowingly put them to the test within a few hours. I was tired, I pushed my call button at 8pm – then promptly at 9pm the Bitch Carlton staff shows up to give me my meds. I went to sleep – at 12:15 my roommate was talking in his sleep. It looked like a Friday night football game at Acalanes High School in here – all the lights were turned on. I asked my roommate if he was ok….he said, “sorry I thought I was talking to my wife” Then…. I remembered the sleeping mask with ear plugs TATE gave me. I searched around on my bed, found them, I was off to see the sandman!

About 6:30AM the nurses come in and do vitals, meds etc. I asked them why the lights were on all night, and what the smell was in the room? I couldn’t understand the broken Pilipino response about the light, but I did hear my roommate’s urine bag was left open all night and there was a small lake of urine on the floor…. NICE! Now all I need is a nose plug!  I would call the front desk to complain, but I don’t think the Bitch Carlton really cares. It’s been almost 3 hours now and we are still waiting for housekeeping to come mop the floor. I really can’t wait to get out of this shit hole. At this point, I think Scott Peterson on Death Row has it better than I do.

On the brighter side of things, I want to thank everyone that came to visit me so far and brought me food snacks and games.
Pete Doyle and EVERYTHING you do for me, thanks brother…
Deanna & Randy Beasley, you guys Rock!
Jeff Hutson
Kim Rooney (Golden)
Leigh Parker Biega
Pat Mahoney
Jim and Jenny Shepherd
Beth and Alan Cunningham ALL the way from Reno
Berto Wooldridge and Monica McFarland
Amy Hatwig
Cathy Majaestic & Jen Smarts

Especially my wife Anneliese, Eddie,  Jack and Alli



2 thoughts on ““Bitch Carlton”

  1. Hey Dave,

    First of all, it is awesome that you still have your sense of humor. With all you are going through, having that is good for the soul and mental health.

    Secondly, is there real food you are craving? I don’t know what is there, but I am sure I can arrange to have something delivered.

    Hang in there old friend. You and your family are always in my thoughts.

    Chris and Morgan Munson

  2. Good old TATE! She’s been wearing that sexy after dark getvuo since our days in the city!

    Glad to hear you’ve totally got your same sense of humor and that you’ve coined yet another “Bitch” term, Bitch Eyes!

    I’ll come visit next month. Can’t wait to see you!


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