One of the Best days of Dave’s life has passed since the accident and life has set in. It’s funny because, Dave said to me, long before this benefit. After the benefit I won’t hear from many again for a very long time. I told him, that ‘s ok, that is how life is. Benefit came and went and sadly Dave was right.
As much as I would like to say that Dave hears from many people just to say hi, the reality is what it is. People go on with their lives and rightfully so. Unfortunately when you don’t get up and take a shower, make your own coffee, get yourself dressed, out of bed or at least take the trash out –
Your world is pretty small and you think about everything at every moment. Dave has the best attitude anyone could ask for in this situation.
He still has his bedsores that are slowly improving. We have the BEST nurses EVER that come to our house daily. She has become a friend and a source of empowerment in our fight to get healthy. Deanna and her sidekick, Kathy, make Dave laugh on a daily basis, cracking jokes and Dave is always at his best. Deanna makes her mission to make sure Dave’s wounds heal and because she knows our history she really goes the distance. . She is truly an Angel to us because we wouldn’t know what we do without her guiding us. She has us going to the wound clinic every 3 weeks and that’s where we have Victoria. She is an amazing wound nurse. She has a calm soothing way that makes us feel like we are doing things right – or like the last visit, we should probably visit with the plastic surgeon to get his/her opinion. We discussed a “Flap” surgery. This would be on his Sacrum. We need to research this more in order to elaborate. David knows he will be laid up for a very long time and not happy about it so I will discuss when we know more.
Dave’s health is pretty good; although the last couple of days his body has an infection and we are waiting to see if we need to take him to the ER to get IV antibiotics. His wounds still require months for healing but we are moving in the right direction just slower than we would like. We just don’t want them to get infected.
Our lives have been busy with just everyday BS, I’m sure everyone can agree. We spend the entire morning getting up, there is a lot involved. Every time I look at my clock I say, OMG, it’s 11am.
When I take Eddie to school in Los Altos, Dave lays here in bed from 8:00-11:00AM. He waits for his nurse or me to get back so we can start our day of getting him up. I feel so guilty just having him wait for us.
If I am not taking Eddie, it’s still the same course. Our days pretty much start off the same way just depends on when. Dave now requires sleep – where he used to get up at 5AM before the accident and loved being out of the house by 6:15AM. Now, his body needs sleep in order to heal. He often sleeps until 8AM and some mornings later. It’s never consistent sleep as we are up many times through the night rotating or going to the bathroom. So we are often both tired in the AM!
Once he’s up and moving about he often has had his buddies come over and keep him company. Mike and Laura Mahoney took us to I’l Fornaio the other night ( we had a great time!!) Laura and Mike have been a great source of companionship living in Walnut Creek, I needed a girlfriend close by and she has been just that!
Pete (his bro) and Kenny (his other Bro) came over on Sunday and just hung out and brought Dave his favorite lunch. Kenny brought back Dave’s “R1 Yamaha Motorcycle” the one he had the incident on. It’s all fixed and beautiful and currently resides in our family room! They helped Dave rearrange toolboxes and things in the garage so Dave is able to move around and attempt to work on things. Alli and I went Christmas shopping the other day. When we got home, it was getting dark outside – Kenny and Dave were out by his “Cop” car. Kenny’s hands were black with grease – he was changing spark plugs. Dave’s getting ready to drive the beast. We recently received a notice from the DMW stating Dave might have to go down and take a drivers test. Of course he was not happy about this.
I hope Dave doesn’t tail the guy in front of him on the exam – if it’s a Prius, Corolla or just a “Stupid” driver the instructor might get an earful and Dave might fail!! Trust me, I’ve heard it all – as I have been his driver for the past 5 months – I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL HE DRIVES! I’m sure if you are reading this and drive one of those cars, you don’t drive 50mph in the fast lane on the Freeway.
Kenny and Pete also rearranged things to get ready for Dave’s other love… His ‘70 Boss 302 Mustang. He has been restoring this car for 2 years. He was almost done before the accident. The one thing he was upset about when he woke up from the medically induced Coma was – he couldn’t ever drive the car!
This is because the Mustang is a stick shift and he has no way of operating the clutch with hand controls. Dave’s been working on ways to get around this. It’s been completely torn apart for 2 years and we still have the entire interior in our garage. Now, that’s a job putting the car back together – I’m hoping we get friends to help him……as unfortunately all he can do is direct traffic
Christmas is approaching quite rapidly. We are so happy to celebrate this season. We so appreciate our family and so look forward ever day when we get all of our kids together. I share Eddie with his father 50/50 so we gear our family dinners based on Eddie being with us. It’s such a great evening when all the kids are here – they are always having a great time. Alli is usually teasing her father, Jack is dragging Eddie down the hallway and I’m cooking dinner – and Dave is laughing at all of the kids. We have such a great life, with the exception of this one incident that changed it in many ways but not around the dinner table. We live our lives like we are happy to be alive and enjoy our moments with each other. Family is everything to us – the kids will tell you. When they stop by after school I often ask, what’s your plans for tonight? If there is not too much homework and Jen doesn’t have plans with them, they come over to hang out. I have always liked Sunday Nights. When Eddie is with us, it’s a given it’s family dinner. We really have a good time on these evenings. We have missed many of them in the past 6 months because so many have been spent in the hospital. The kids have been incredibly supportive and wonderful to their Dad – or as Eddie calls him, DOD (which means, Dave other Dad.) They help him with whatever he needs or they simply get him in bed when I’m cleaning up the dishes. They get him completely ready for bed for me and when I walk in, I’m thrilled I get to just lay next to him and discuss the evening.
I won’t lie; Christmas season has always been my favorite. When my husband can’t stay awake or doesn’t feel comfortable going out because he’s not feeling well. It’s hard. I’ve had amazing Christmas Season’s with this man. I have to admit, I spend a lot of alone nights crying looking at old pics and looking back. I wake up, and suddenly realize this is our lives now and we are on a good path and moving forward. I’m sure the holiday season makes it hard on everyone in challenging situations.
We have finally had some decent months physically so we decided to attend an evaluation at SCI Fit – which is a gym specifically tailored to individuals with Spinal Cord Injuries. What a phenomenal experience. Jerry, who took care of us, was so knowledgeable and probably educated me more in 1 hour than I had been in 4 months. We learned about their program and then they asked Dave, what do you want to get out of this program?
His response (an honest one), I’m bored OUT MY SKULL” and would like to do something. Let’s face it – he lies there staring at the ceiling until I get home and get him up. He wants to build up his body as much as he can while the wounds heal so he can be more independent and not depend on others to help him.
I will end the blog by saying – I’ve learned so much during this unfortunate accident. One thing I won’t give up on is our wonderful family and friends. The ones that have been with us through this past 6 plus months and really stood by us through sickness and truly hospital sickness. Thank you so much!!!
Last Night , Alli and I went to Dave’s Boss’ fathers Celebration of Life. How wonderful people were and asked about Dave. The Owner of the Company Dave works for showed up and were always gracious, Anu and Arvin hugged me and always ask about Dave. What great people they are and better yet, great owners together of a company.
Christmas is one of those holidays that you want to reflect on what’s important.
Dave has had the darkest of times in these past few months and we thank those that have been there and always check in, thank you to our adorable, loyal and totally committed children, Alli, Jack & our little man, Eddie. I would like to thank people that have been with us day in and day out and help us on an hourly basis..
Mom, Kelly, Joanie, Dennis, Jen, Tim, Kenny, Lisa, Pete, Christy, Sharyl, Laura, Mike, Berto, Tim Blasquez, Chris, Jimmy, Hank “Can you Rock” Craig & Kelly. Without all of you, I really don’t know what I would do. Your help daily and constant assistance is so very much appreciated! When I’m called and have to get Eddie and won’t return for 2 hours and Dave is on the massage table – thank you Jen for always running over and helping me out of my bind.
I really would like to thank Correne Cook, who has given her time weekly to help Dave get his knots in his neck worked out. She spends hours helping him and the generosity is amazing. Thank you.
I would also continue to thank those that send me Facebook messages or a simple text asking how Dave is. Also, to those that message Dave or pick up the phone to call. Your messages do not go unread.I enjoy reading them all and can’t tell you how uplifting they can be if I’m having a bad day.
Our wish for everyone this Christmas is a Safe, Happy and Wonderful Holiday. Just remember your life can change in an instant –
Kiss your loved ones, be happy with who you are and what you have. Life is really precious and so are your loved ones.
Dave and I will focus on keeping on. We certainly expect you to do the same.
We will keep you posted in the next few weeks on Dave’s health progress.
The kids and I have made this our number one wish this Season. NO HOSPITAL!!
Merry Christmas Everyone and have a Happy New Year!
Anneliese & David