I thought I would write from a wife’s perspective. As everyone can imagine this life changing event has been traumatic on our family. With that said, I can’t imagine better children than we have. Everyone of them are so compassionate to what their dad needs and so very protective of every situation he encounters. They are the first to push him, to open the door or protect him from the ever oblivious one standing in the way when he’s just trying to make his way through.
The love I have experienced through our kids – is something other than amazing. It helps me every minute of the day and helps me smile when I feel discouraged.
As you can imagine, every day is a new struggle. Dave has lost a lot of weight but his legs, thighs and stomach are bigger than he’s ever dealt with. They are filled with fluid from the blood clots, this prevents him from being able to do anything independently. He’s been pretty frustrated with this. I continue to be in awe of this man. Since his accident, he has continued to think about our future. He has sold his Boat (to his kids mom and husband), my jeep, his KTM 450xcw
His road bicycle, mountain bike. We think we have sold, our beautiful 5th Wheel Toy Hauler (that we loved), his 2011 truck and new scooter. This part has been hard for Dave. We had to move our garage out of San Jose because we are selling the home – that was a fun day. We moved it all to our storage- when Dave rolled in there to see all of our “stuff” ie: all of our families motorcycles, all of his leathers throughout his career and all of his tools and cool tool boxes. He looked at me and said, I’m so mad. I asked him why? He said, because I loved my life so much, those things made me really happy. I just let him have that, because nothing I could say or do would change how he was feeling at that moment.
Sunday was a day that we spent with close family. It was the calm before the storm.
Dave woke up to our in-home nurse coming to speak with us. He has been incredibly frustrated with his situation of feeling physically horrible. We both were having an off day. Both feeling sad and emotional – a little alone- in a weird way ( a hotel can make you feel that way). After hitting the dermatologist for Dave – he has alopecia ( hair loss due to trauma) he had shots in the back of his scalp. We headed back to hotel. I decided to completely change things up and go to the movies. I was dying to see “The Butler”. We went, interestingly, on a Monday early afternoon. The disabled, or Dave, need to sit in the front row as you walk in. Well, as you can imagine, on a early Monday afternoon, that row was busy because everyone at a certain age is “handicapped”. I saw a free seat with a HC vacant spot for Dave to roll into next to me. I noticed that the elderly all put their walkers there. When we walked in – I moved a waker maybe 3 inches to the left. I wanted Dave to be able to back up into the spot. Can you believe the older guy in the row behind us – grabbed his walker and was pissed at us for moving it. I felt horribly, I told Dave lets move to the opposite end, because evidently the guy “in the back row” was grumpy that we were parked there. He yelled at us while moving, not grumpy, but you should properly ask! ,,,. As you can imagine, I was furious. I sat and thought about people and how insensitive they are.
We began to watch “The Butler” (the most amazing movie, to me). After it was over- Dave and I were so emotional about “our” situation. I couldn’t get Dave out of the building without breaking down. I got us through the double doors and both of us cried about how we felt – not about the movie, but about our challenges. The movie was so incredible – a movie about unsurmountable challenges. People walked by us, wondering why we were both crying hysterically. This is a man, who I’ve never seen cry. Something hit him this morning and I wondered what got to him. He kept telling me, I’m not sure why I’m so emotional, I can’t pull it together. He just kept burying his head and I knew this wasn’t my husband but what this has done to him.
Joe Salas wrote the most beautiful post on FB. It hit Dave to the core.
Joe talked about a dream he had where Dave was in it and walked! He said, he missed Dave.
Dave cried to Alli and myself in the hotel room that-
he misses himself too, , and wishes so badly things were different. Joe’s post was all too real, Dave “walking” with his amazing Smile – it IS an amazing Dream – I too, wish it would come true. Lets turn it back to June 1st because that’s the only time the both of us WANT to remember.
The Friday before the accident, Dave was Dave. We had a bunch of people in our trailer, Jen and Jason, Barry, Lisa, Kenny, Michael, and many others. It was “our” fun that we did before our weekend of racing. It was our night of Coronas, Pacificos, Tequila and of course Wine.
It was a great time, I remember Michael Ernest asking me, are you nervous when he race? I said , ” not really – If he gets off the line he’s smooth- I never worry about the rest of the race after the first turn”. This time I was so wrong, I watched as my husband raced. As he approached turn 5 in the first lap, I watched, as I knew he was excited on his new R1 – he came out of turn 5 with all his competitors stacked up. My eyes were on his bike – no matter how close everyone was – I saw him flip…. I saw someone else slide across the track. After being a little confused, I asked Kenny (Dave’s mechanic, confidant and very dear friend). Where’s Dave? I see his bike but I don’t see Dave? He says to me (while his wife, Lisa is holding me.). that is Dave, not the bike, he’s not moving. I, of course thought it was his bike, because Dave always jumped up. I knew at that moment, my life changed.
Our lives are so different at 3 months out. Right now, I’m hoping its the worst for us.
Dave can make a lot of fun and be positive for everyone on the outside but I’m here to tell you…. He’s one hell of a man, I rather be with no other, I never met a a man who is dealing with the unbelievable and still makes me smile. It’s a really unbelievable situation and I’ve heard from many it gets easier. Today, was our worst day yet. He’s not feeling well with all his swelling.
I’ve got calls into a vascular surgeon, urologist, GI Doc and anyone else that can help my husband feel better physically, this man can take a lot, when I see him hurting, that means, I need to get to work.
Hopefully he can come out this weekend and see everyone at the track. That’s his goal, to go to Sonoma raceway and see all of his friends! Thank you for all of your wonderful support and continued donations. Our family so appreciates everything.